A Day in the Life...

Why am I teaching the traditional Chuseok bow?!? 

Eileen, Megan, Jaden, Caleb, Jun Yeong 

      Looks like fun, doesn't it?!   Imagine getting to roll around and play with children and toys all day long.  And get paid for it!  What more could you ask for?!  Well I'm here to inform you that it's not all that it appears to be.  While moments like these are incredible, what you don't see is the crying and the fighting and the spilled food and the throwing up and the accidents in their little pants (or worse, on you [yes, that's happened to me on more than one occasion]) and the supervisory trips to the bathroom and the bleeding...and that's not the worst of it.   Imagine how dirty, disgusting, filthy, and nasty young children can be.  They will literally touch and grab anything and then put their hands in their mouths...and yours too - when you least expect it.  And if you're a parent I know that you're probably saying "So what! It's just something that you have to deal with!"  Well guess what?!  These aren't my children!!  I dare you to spend ten hours a day with someone else's child while they cry, fight, vomit, and pee on you.  Then, while they are touching your facial hair in amazement, have them suddenly and surprisingly shove their tainted little fingers into your mouth!  Take it from me, it's not fun (or tasty) at all.

      As disgusting as that is, that's not the worst part about being a teacher.  I'm sure anyone who has or is currently teaching will agree with me that the worst part is dealing with parents.  Now I don't remember my own parents being like this, but somewhere between when I was in high school and when I began teaching, it seems that all parents convened and decided that no matter what goes wrong at school with their child, it's automatically the teacher's fault.  When I got in trouble at school my parent's blamed me...and for good reason - because it was actually my fault (no matter how many times I swore to them that the teacher just had a personal vendetta against me and was out to ruin my life)!

      So my advice to parents...don't believe everything your child says about their teachers.  We don't believe everything they say about you.  And if there ever were a profession that deserved to be appreciated more and definitely paid more, it's those in the education field.   Barely making more than minimum wage just doesn't justify being urinated or vomited on by a child that's not your own.

Does Fortune Favor the Bold?

      I've achieved more in the past couple of months with my artwork than I have in years.  Actually, since my senior graduation show at LSU.  Amazingly, it all started as a simple outlet for my frustration/desperation.  I was sketching in a cafe one day and was approached by the owner who noticed me drawing.  Things snowballed through a random series of events from there and I ended up with a show at the Painted Chair gallery.  As if that weren't amazing enough, another art space/gallery was interested in my pieces as well.   My exhibition is currently being shown at Baraboda Art Community, an incredible place for working artists.   Not only are pieces shown here but lessons are offered, studio space can be rented out, and artists are brought in to give talks.   It's quite a unique idea and I wish more places like this were made available to artists back in the States.  Daily and monthly rentals are available for an incredibly inexpensive price and there are more than enough art supplies and space at your disposal.  And for those inevitable artistic all-nighters, there's even a small kitchen with an endless supply of coffee and tea which I have such the affinity for.  A beautifully shot piece by one of the community's young video artist can be seen here.  The only downfall for me however, is that there are two cats roaming around which belong to the owner and I am unfortunately allergic to cats.   So it would appear that I'll be stuck in my little box of an apartment while drawing and painting for now.

      So taking chances pays off...sometimes.  I wish risk-taking would end in good fortune more often.   But I guess we must realize that not everything concludes with a movie script ending.   Sometimes the hero doesn't defeat the villain.  Sometimes bad things happen to good people.  And sometimes a boy stands freezing in the pouring rain at a payphone at midnight having an incredible conversation with the his soul mate only to reluctantly hang up and never hear from her again.

      When we act boldly and it pays off, it is fortune favoring us.  When it doesn't, we're foolish.

The Bane of the Korean Woman

      While South Korea is great in oh so many aspects it has it's fair share of downfalls as well.  Especially for women.  I'd like to think that in the States women are treated as fairly as men (though I'm not naive enough to believe that this is always true).   Couple that with coming from the South and being raised properly by my parents, I just can't foresee a situation where I wouldn't treat a woman better than I'd treat myself (At least now-a-days.  I was young and stupid once and apologize to any of my ex-girlfriends reading this.).  Here in Korea, the culture just doesn't seem to work that way.   Women are subservient to men and are required to know and perform certain duties.

      As an example, I can't think of a time when any decent, chivalrous man wouldn't hold a door open or offer up his seat to a woman in need.   Not so in Korea.  Doors do not get held open; once walked through, no one even turns around to see who is possibly behind them.   And as for any available seat, that definitely goes to the man.   Young and old men alike get to enjoy sitting down on crowded subway trains for hours at a time while their significant others stand, tightly gripping the hand holds as the train swerves through the underground tunnels.   Women must also care for the entire household.  The duties of cooking, cleaning, and raising children fall primarily on her shoulders.

      If those external sources of cultural pressures weren't enough, there are a whole set of societal pressures that women face, even from a shockingly young age.   This youthful generation of Korean women are discovering the West and have an insatiable appetite for any and all things American.   The music, fashion, glitz, glamour  and celebrity have all gained unstoppable momentum with the most emphasis being on physical appearance.   Hair style and color, eye color, clothing, and body type and shape are all things that young Koreans change to emulate their Western counterparts.   Some of these factors are quite easy and painless to change.  Buying new clothes and hair dye is a simple solution for most young women.  Contact lenses which change the color of one's eyes to something much lighter is another popular alteration.  Some changes are more extreme however.  Most women spend endless amounts of time in gyms in hopes of making their already petite frame even smaller.   Plastic surgery such as rhinoplasty, breast implants, and jaw shaving are more severe still.

      The most popular, and most puzzling to me, is a procedure known as Asian blepharoplasty, or the double eyelid surgery.  With this surgery, the skin of the upper eyelid is reshaped to form a crease - a single line – along the eyelid with the hope of having a more "Western" shape to their eyes.  As a foreigner, if this weren't pointed out to me, I'd have never known or recognized its existence.  This seems like quite the risky procedure to go through but the shocking fact is that this is by far the most sought in Korea.   It's so widely desired that it is often the reward for young women who achieve good grades in school.

Ridiculous.

Things I'll Never Understand - The Korean Economy

      Now I'm no brilliant man when it comes to business but apparently Economics 101 doesn't apply to Korea.   Since the beginning of my time here, I've found it odd that there'd be so many of the same businesses within a literal stone's throw of each other.  Korea has an affinity for the "Big 5" - convenient stores, cafes, eye wear stores, bakeries, and outdoor outfitters.  The only conclusion that I can come to is that Korea is a twilight zone for economic basics such as supply and demand.  One would think that as the supply of a particular good becomes more and more abundant the market would eventually become flooded and the demand would lessen.   Not so out here.   If I can get a coffee at a second floor cafe of a particular building, then Korea assumes that I'd also want to get one on a third floor cafe as well.   And at the cafe in the building next door.  And again at the cafe across the street.    I've constantly questioned how it's possible for all of these cafes to stay open; it make absolutely no sense to me.

      Another peculiar thing that I've discovered is that if you place a take-out order at a cafe, it's usually 40% cheaper than if you stay in to have a coffee or tea.  That seems completely backwards to me.  Why would you want someone to come to your business, give them almost half off, then have them leave?   If anything, shouldn't it be a little cheaper if they stayed?   Wouldn't you want to keep your customers there in hopes of having their one cup of coffee turn into two?

      I can almost understand the whole convenient store thing because, well, they are supposed to be convenient.   But it's still a bit much.  They are on every street corner and here's what makes it even more nonsensical, they are of the same franchise.   Who needs a GS 25 three stores down from another GS 25? And eye wear stores?   Do we really need 20 stores that sell glasses and contacts down a half mile road?   I once counted five consecutive outdoor outfitters in a row...yep, they were actually all touching each other.  Are any of the prices different to potentially give one store an edge over another?   Nope.   So Korea, I'm simply left scratching my head once again at your expense.

The Funeral

      Ahh, modern art.  Enlightening.  Ground-breaking.  Thought provoking.  Conceptual.  Confusing?  The later is usually the more common response.  While I'll concede that the art which follows technically doesn't fit into the "Modern" genre, it still fit the descriptive words above.

My art.

Quentin's art.

Both now showing at The Painted Chair Gallery in Busan, South Korea.
I believe he wins.

I Know I'm Breaking the First Rule Here, but...

      So I decided to embrace a Korean custom and indulge in getting a traditional massage I know that I shouldn't be discussing this but I've discovered a women's underground fight club here in Busan. And it pains me to say this but I got beat up by one of them. Severely. You see, I stumbled into what I thought was a nice massage spa and was greeted by a petite, unassuming girl. Looking back on it, I can only make the assumption that she's the women's world champion of the 110 lbs division. I thought that I was laying down for a massage but what ensued was a full body assault. I honestly didn't enjoy a single minute of it. For over an hour I suffered through this woman's torture and abuse. Her elbows and knees were vicious. And her hands! I didn't think it was even possible to have that kind of hand strength. We all know that one guy who shakes hands way too hard, leaving you wondering what he's trying to prove or over-compensate for. Well, she would've shattered every bone in that guy's hand. I'd love to go back only to have her grab those pressure gauges used to measure the bite force of pit bulls, crocodiles, and lions. I'd say that she'd easily register 3,000 pounds per square inch.

      Having never gotten a massage before I always thought that the pillow for your face with the hole in the center of it was there to allow you to breathe. I now know that the hole is for you to cry through. It lets your tears fall to the floor so that you don't drown in them. As my shoulders and neck were being tormented, I laid on my stomach biting the pillow and gripping the table as hard as I could (at only a measly 200 pounds per square inch). But gripping so tightly cause me to tense up and I was quickly met with a swift punch to the back numerous times. As with everything, the language difference was an unfortunate barrier. One of the very few things that I actually could make out were the words "medium pressure." I'm unsure if she was asking me if I'd like for her to ease up and use medium pressure or if she was explaining to me that she was only using medium pressure. If that's true, and she was only using medium pressure then Lord have mercy on whatever poor soul lays on that table and asks for more pressure.

      Now I'm not the most heavily tattooed person ever but I estimate that I've undergone 35 to 40 hours of work. What this woman did to me in a little over an hour was, without a doubt, more difficult to sit through than all of the hours of tattoo work...combined! I wish I were kidding but I'm not. The moral of the story here is do NOT ask for a "sports massage" unless you're willing to suffer the consequences. Stick to the aroma therapy massage.

3...2...1...

      Happy New Years!  Again!  Yep, that's right, it's New Year's Day over here in Korea.  Lunar New Years to be specific.  It is the new moon of February so we turn the pages on the calendar for a fresh start to the Year of the Snake.  Called Seollal, this (and Chuseok) is the most celebrated holiday of the year for Koreans and lasts three days (the day before, the day of, and the day after the new moon).  Seollal is truly a special occasion for the Korean people.  Not only does is grant an opportunity to pay respect to ancestors, it also provides the time to catch up with distant family members.  During Seollal, Koreans usually wear a hanbok (the same customary clothes worn at Chuseok), perform ancestral rites, play folk games, eat traditional foods, and listen to stories of the past well into the night.

      As a foreigner observing my first Seollal, I was amazed by how sacred the holiday truly is.  In the Western tradition of holiday celebrations, I'd say that Christmas, Thanksgiving, the Fourth of July, and (our) New Year's Day are fairly important.  At least in the sense that the majority of the population gets the day off of work.  Over here, not only is every business open on those days, they're hardly even celebrated (or not even acknowledged at all).  For the first time here, I am shocked that there are literally no places opened today.  Remember, I live in a college neighborhood with a nightlife that easily goes until 6 in the morning, even on weekdays!  And now it's quiet and desolate.

      I am grateful though because I actually have Monday off of school!  This is my first holiday off since the Korean Presidential Election Day on December 20th.  Oops, wait...that's not true.  Remember, I was supposed to have that day off but my school decided to remain open and actually took away a national holiday!  Imagine being one of the Korean teachers and not having the chance to vote for the presidency.  I thought that freedom is what separated us from the North over here!
      Now while I celebrate this very important day over here in Asia, my sleepy little home town of Luling, Louisiana is celebrating the biggest day of the year for them...the Luling Parade (arguably, next to the Alligator Festival)!   I can't believe that I'm missing Mardi Gras but maybe you can't believe that you're missing Seollal!