LHB

So I reflect on all of the recent artwork I've created and can only think but one thing...why can't I have you?

The End...or Beginning?

      Five.  Not two.  Not three.  Not four.  Five.  That's what I had to go through.  Five airports.  Busan to Tokyo.  Tokyo to Los Angeles.  Los Angeles to Dallas.  And finally Dallas to home sweet home, New Orleans.  After 25 hours on airplanes/in airports and backtracking through 15 time zones I finally set foot back on home soil.  All things considered, I couldn't have asked for an easier international flight home.

      I know that my return home will come as a shock to most and I kind of like it that way.  My ability to surprise family and friends will be an opportunity to show my appreciation to those who've supported me through this entire endeavor.  There were many ups and down and I owe a great deal to anyone who helped keep me sane through it all, so I thank you.  Ideally, I'd like to still be in Korea but certain circumstances (a terrible employer and the threat of nuclear war) have brought me home, and that's probably for the best.

      Speaking of my sanity, I was able to maintain it as best I could through art, music, and writing.  I seem to work best when I have a source of inspiration, but a more accurate description would be a muse to fixate upon.  It's no doubt because of some obsessive/compulsive disorder.  So a special thank you goes out to my muse for all that they have unknowingly done.

      I'll fondly look back on all that I've learned and what I've accomplished while moving forward in my new, old setting.  While in Korea - the friends I've made, the art displays, the traditions I've experienced, the food I've eaten, and the music I've played - they were all more than worth it.  There are going to be certain things that I will absolutely miss about Korea and conversely, there will be things that I hope to never again have to deal with.

      What lies next is simply a new chapter in my life...if vinyl albums had a C-side, this would be the beginning of mine.

A Day in the Life...

Why am I teaching the traditional Chuseok bow?!? 

Eileen, Megan, Jaden, Caleb, Jun Yeong 

      Looks like fun, doesn't it?!   Imagine getting to roll around and play with children and toys all day long.  And get paid for it!  What more could you ask for?!  Well I'm here to inform you that it's not all that it appears to be.  While moments like these are incredible, what you don't see is the crying and the fighting and the spilled food and the throwing up and the accidents in their little pants (or worse, on you [yes, that's happened to me on more than one occasion]) and the supervisory trips to the bathroom and the bleeding...and that's not the worst of it.   Imagine how dirty, disgusting, filthy, and nasty young children can be.  They will literally touch and grab anything and then put their hands in their mouths...and yours too - when you least expect it.  And if you're a parent I know that you're probably saying "So what! It's just something that you have to deal with!"  Well guess what?!  These aren't my children!!  I dare you to spend ten hours a day with someone else's child while they cry, fight, vomit, and pee on you.  Then, while they are touching your facial hair in amazement, have them suddenly and surprisingly shove their tainted little fingers into your mouth!  Take it from me, it's not fun (or tasty) at all.

      As disgusting as that is, that's not the worst part about being a teacher.  I'm sure anyone who has or is currently teaching will agree with me that the worst part is dealing with parents.  Now I don't remember my own parents being like this, but somewhere between when I was in high school and when I began teaching, it seems that all parents convened and decided that no matter what goes wrong at school with their child, it's automatically the teacher's fault.  When I got in trouble at school my parent's blamed me...and for good reason - because it was actually my fault (no matter how many times I swore to them that the teacher just had a personal vendetta against me and was out to ruin my life)!

      So my advice to parents...don't believe everything your child says about their teachers.  We don't believe everything they say about you.  And if there ever were a profession that deserved to be appreciated more and definitely paid more, it's those in the education field.   Barely making more than minimum wage just doesn't justify being urinated or vomited on by a child that's not your own.

Does Fortune Favor the Bold?

      I've achieved more in the past couple of months with my artwork than I have in years.  Actually, since my senior graduation show at LSU.  Amazingly, it all started as a simple outlet for my frustration/desperation.  I was sketching in a cafe one day and was approached by the owner who noticed me drawing.  Things snowballed through a random series of events from there and I ended up with a show at the Painted Chair gallery.  As if that weren't amazing enough, another art space/gallery was interested in my pieces as well.   My exhibition is currently being shown at Baraboda Art Community, an incredible place for working artists.   Not only are pieces shown here but lessons are offered, studio space can be rented out, and artists are brought in to give talks.   It's quite a unique idea and I wish more places like this were made available to artists back in the States.  Daily and monthly rentals are available for an incredibly inexpensive price and there are more than enough art supplies and space at your disposal.  And for those inevitable artistic all-nighters, there's even a small kitchen with an endless supply of coffee and tea which I have such the affinity for.  A beautifully shot piece by one of the community's young video artist can be seen here.  The only downfall for me however, is that there are two cats roaming around which belong to the owner and I am unfortunately allergic to cats.   So it would appear that I'll be stuck in my little box of an apartment while drawing and painting for now.

      So taking chances pays off...sometimes.  I wish risk-taking would end in good fortune more often.   But I guess we must realize that not everything concludes with a movie script ending.   Sometimes the hero doesn't defeat the villain.  Sometimes bad things happen to good people.  And sometimes a boy stands freezing in the pouring rain at a payphone at midnight having an incredible conversation with the his soul mate only to reluctantly hang up and never hear from her again.

      When we act boldly and it pays off, it is fortune favoring us.  When it doesn't, we're foolish.

The Bane of the Korean Woman

      While South Korea is great in oh so many aspects it has it's fair share of downfalls as well.  Especially for women.  I'd like to think that in the States women are treated as fairly as men (though I'm not naive enough to believe that this is always true).   Couple that with coming from the South and being raised properly by my parents, I just can't foresee a situation where I wouldn't treat a woman better than I'd treat myself (At least now-a-days.  I was young and stupid once and apologize to any of my ex-girlfriends reading this.).  Here in Korea, the culture just doesn't seem to work that way.   Women are subservient to men and are required to know and perform certain duties.

      As an example, I can't think of a time when any decent, chivalrous man wouldn't hold a door open or offer up his seat to a woman in need.   Not so in Korea.  Doors do not get held open; once walked through, no one even turns around to see who is possibly behind them.   And as for any available seat, that definitely goes to the man.   Young and old men alike get to enjoy sitting down on crowded subway trains for hours at a time while their significant others stand, tightly gripping the hand holds as the train swerves through the underground tunnels.   Women must also care for the entire household.  The duties of cooking, cleaning, and raising children fall primarily on her shoulders.

      If those external sources of cultural pressures weren't enough, there are a whole set of societal pressures that women face, even from a shockingly young age.   This youthful generation of Korean women are discovering the West and have an insatiable appetite for any and all things American.   The music, fashion, glitz, glamour  and celebrity have all gained unstoppable momentum with the most emphasis being on physical appearance.   Hair style and color, eye color, clothing, and body type and shape are all things that young Koreans change to emulate their Western counterparts.   Some of these factors are quite easy and painless to change.  Buying new clothes and hair dye is a simple solution for most young women.  Contact lenses which change the color of one's eyes to something much lighter is another popular alteration.  Some changes are more extreme however.  Most women spend endless amounts of time in gyms in hopes of making their already petite frame even smaller.   Plastic surgery such as rhinoplasty, breast implants, and jaw shaving are more severe still.

      The most popular, and most puzzling to me, is a procedure known as Asian blepharoplasty, or the double eyelid surgery.  With this surgery, the skin of the upper eyelid is reshaped to form a crease - a single line – along the eyelid with the hope of having a more "Western" shape to their eyes.  As a foreigner, if this weren't pointed out to me, I'd have never known or recognized its existence.  This seems like quite the risky procedure to go through but the shocking fact is that this is by far the most sought in Korea.   It's so widely desired that it is often the reward for young women who achieve good grades in school.

Ridiculous.

Things I'll Never Understand - The Korean Economy

      Now I'm no brilliant man when it comes to business but apparently Economics 101 doesn't apply to Korea.   Since the beginning of my time here, I've found it odd that there'd be so many of the same businesses within a literal stone's throw of each other.  Korea has an affinity for the "Big 5" - convenient stores, cafes, eye wear stores, bakeries, and outdoor outfitters.  The only conclusion that I can come to is that Korea is a twilight zone for economic basics such as supply and demand.  One would think that as the supply of a particular good becomes more and more abundant the market would eventually become flooded and the demand would lessen.   Not so out here.   If I can get a coffee at a second floor cafe of a particular building, then Korea assumes that I'd also want to get one on a third floor cafe as well.   And at the cafe in the building next door.  And again at the cafe across the street.    I've constantly questioned how it's possible for all of these cafes to stay open; it make absolutely no sense to me.

      Another peculiar thing that I've discovered is that if you place a take-out order at a cafe, it's usually 40% cheaper than if you stay in to have a coffee or tea.  That seems completely backwards to me.  Why would you want someone to come to your business, give them almost half off, then have them leave?   If anything, shouldn't it be a little cheaper if they stayed?   Wouldn't you want to keep your customers there in hopes of having their one cup of coffee turn into two?

      I can almost understand the whole convenient store thing because, well, they are supposed to be convenient.   But it's still a bit much.  They are on every street corner and here's what makes it even more nonsensical, they are of the same franchise.   Who needs a GS 25 three stores down from another GS 25? And eye wear stores?   Do we really need 20 stores that sell glasses and contacts down a half mile road?   I once counted five consecutive outdoor outfitters in a row...yep, they were actually all touching each other.  Are any of the prices different to potentially give one store an edge over another?   Nope.   So Korea, I'm simply left scratching my head once again at your expense.

The Funeral

      Ahh, modern art.  Enlightening.  Ground-breaking.  Thought provoking.  Conceptual.  Confusing?  The later is usually the more common response.  While I'll concede that the art which follows technically doesn't fit into the "Modern" genre, it still fit the descriptive words above.

My art.

Quentin's art.

Both now showing at The Painted Chair Gallery in Busan, South Korea.
I believe he wins.

I Know I'm Breaking the First Rule Here, but...

      So I decided to embrace a Korean custom and indulge in getting a traditional massage I know that I shouldn't be discussing this but I've discovered a women's underground fight club here in Busan. And it pains me to say this but I got beat up by one of them. Severely. You see, I stumbled into what I thought was a nice massage spa and was greeted by a petite, unassuming girl. Looking back on it, I can only make the assumption that she's the women's world champion of the 110 lbs division. I thought that I was laying down for a massage but what ensued was a full body assault. I honestly didn't enjoy a single minute of it. For over an hour I suffered through this woman's torture and abuse. Her elbows and knees were vicious. And her hands! I didn't think it was even possible to have that kind of hand strength. We all know that one guy who shakes hands way too hard, leaving you wondering what he's trying to prove or over-compensate for. Well, she would've shattered every bone in that guy's hand. I'd love to go back only to have her grab those pressure gauges used to measure the bite force of pit bulls, crocodiles, and lions. I'd say that she'd easily register 3,000 pounds per square inch.

      Having never gotten a massage before I always thought that the pillow for your face with the hole in the center of it was there to allow you to breathe. I now know that the hole is for you to cry through. It lets your tears fall to the floor so that you don't drown in them. As my shoulders and neck were being tormented, I laid on my stomach biting the pillow and gripping the table as hard as I could (at only a measly 200 pounds per square inch). But gripping so tightly cause me to tense up and I was quickly met with a swift punch to the back numerous times. As with everything, the language difference was an unfortunate barrier. One of the very few things that I actually could make out were the words "medium pressure." I'm unsure if she was asking me if I'd like for her to ease up and use medium pressure or if she was explaining to me that she was only using medium pressure. If that's true, and she was only using medium pressure then Lord have mercy on whatever poor soul lays on that table and asks for more pressure.

      Now I'm not the most heavily tattooed person ever but I estimate that I've undergone 35 to 40 hours of work. What this woman did to me in a little over an hour was, without a doubt, more difficult to sit through than all of the hours of tattoo work...combined! I wish I were kidding but I'm not. The moral of the story here is do NOT ask for a "sports massage" unless you're willing to suffer the consequences. Stick to the aroma therapy massage.

3...2...1...

      Happy New Years!  Again!  Yep, that's right, it's New Year's Day over here in Korea.  Lunar New Years to be specific.  It is the new moon of February so we turn the pages on the calendar for a fresh start to the Year of the Snake.  Called Seollal, this (and Chuseok) is the most celebrated holiday of the year for Koreans and lasts three days (the day before, the day of, and the day after the new moon).  Seollal is truly a special occasion for the Korean people.  Not only does is grant an opportunity to pay respect to ancestors, it also provides the time to catch up with distant family members.  During Seollal, Koreans usually wear a hanbok (the same customary clothes worn at Chuseok), perform ancestral rites, play folk games, eat traditional foods, and listen to stories of the past well into the night.

      As a foreigner observing my first Seollal, I was amazed by how sacred the holiday truly is.  In the Western tradition of holiday celebrations, I'd say that Christmas, Thanksgiving, the Fourth of July, and (our) New Year's Day are fairly important.  At least in the sense that the majority of the population gets the day off of work.  Over here, not only is every business open on those days, they're hardly even celebrated (or not even acknowledged at all).  For the first time here, I am shocked that there are literally no places opened today.  Remember, I live in a college neighborhood with a nightlife that easily goes until 6 in the morning, even on weekdays!  And now it's quiet and desolate.

      I am grateful though because I actually have Monday off of school!  This is my first holiday off since the Korean Presidential Election Day on December 20th.  Oops, wait...that's not true.  Remember, I was supposed to have that day off but my school decided to remain open and actually took away a national holiday!  Imagine being one of the Korean teachers and not having the chance to vote for the presidency.  I thought that freedom is what separated us from the North over here!
      Now while I celebrate this very important day over here in Asia, my sleepy little home town of Luling, Louisiana is celebrating the biggest day of the year for them...the Luling Parade (arguably, next to the Alligator Festival)!   I can't believe that I'm missing Mardi Gras but maybe you can't believe that you're missing Seollal!

Revisited

      Though my fitness pursuits have taken up a great deal of my free time since the new year, I haven't completely neglected my artistic endeavors.  I envisioned a particular series of watercolor paintings and upon completing my first one, put them on the shelf because I wasn't sure how I felt.  After a hiatus I revisited the series and painted a second one.  The good news is that I kinda liked it.   It's what I had in mind when I set out to create these paintings.  The bad news is that it made my first one look terrible.  So I cast that one aside in hopes of riding this new wave of momentum and sure enough, I was able to create another painting that I enjoy.  There's a third one in the works and I intend to continue riding the wave in order to see where it takes me.

As Previously Promised: A Film Documenting Christmas in Korea

      So here's a short film thanks to the budding editor, Quentin Landry.  As far as I'm concerned, Quentin Tarantino better watch out!  There will of course be more films to come.

Go Ahead and Stare

      It seems that I do this far too often but I'm apologizing, yet again for the absence of a recent entry. I haven't been feeling the greatest for the past few days and this morning I awoke feeling like I'd been hit by a truck. The sinus pressure headache, the runny/stuffy nose, the terrible body aches throughout my ribs and spine, and of course a fever. There are a million and one hand-me-down home remedies for how to get better and at this point, I'd be willing to try them all.

      One of the more popular remedies is to soak in a hot tub and breathe in the humidity. Well I don't have a tub. But there are plenty of jimjilbangs here in Korea. A jimjilbang is a local bath house where you can go to soak in pools of various temperatures and sit in saunas. They are separated by gender and require that you be completely nude.

      So my logic earlier today was that if I'm going to go to my first jimjilbang, it might as well be the best. Spa Land (an incredibly large jimjilbang, perhaps the largest in the country) is located in Shinsegae, the world's largest department store, and through research, looks so nice that I probably shouldn't be let in. Although I felt terrible, I decided to take the 30 minute subway ride in hopes of finding relief in the utmost of style and comfort. Feeling extremely light-headed I barely made it there but couldn't wait for the relief. Now Spa Land doesn't have an English interpretation to its website (something I'd expect from such a popular and well known attraction), so my first move was to find the information desk.

      I successfully discovered the entrance and was amazed that a place so nice would only cost $12 for four hours! And then, just as I foreshadowed earlier, they didn't let me in. You see, there's a no tattoos policy. At this point, I felt like passing out. But what could I do? I just got on the subway and rode it all the way back home...money well spent.

      I knew of a very small, local jimjilbang just a few block away from my apartment but couldn't help but picture it as the dirtiest, sketchiest place of all. But desperate times call for desperate measures. I stopped in, paid my $4, and headed to the baths. Needless to say I drew the full attention of the 30 Korean men as I stumbled through the baths trying to figure out what everything was. There were maybe twenty shower heads and stools to sit on for your normal lather up, shave, and shower. Then there were five different pools ranging in temperature from "a little to cold" to "a lot too hot."  There was one sauna that was absolutely too hot and humid and they even had heated rooms to sleep in.  Most jimjilbangs are open 24 hours a day and Koreans take advantage of this.  It is customary to sleep on the floor here in Korea, so why not grab your blankets and spend the night lying around on a heated floor?  Perhaps sweating your fever out.  The highlight of my time spent in the baths was getting to listen to a Korean pawpaw moan what sounded to be Gregorian chants for an hour.

      Was it awkward? Yep. Was it dirty? Yep. Did it help? Momentarily. Was it worth being stared at for 2 hours for only $4? Ehh, why not?! Will I go back? Probably so.

For My Sake, I Hope This is a Good Idea

      I'd be willing to say that I've had some pretty good ideas in my life. Unfortunately I've also had some pretty terrible ideas in my life. Shall we view a short list?

The Good – chose some damn good life-long friends
(especially those who have consistently been there for me through this endeavor)

The Bad – dyed my hair "smurf" blue once

The Good – attended college

The Bad – chose a worthless major

The Good – fell in love

The Bad – acted like an ass and am now alone

The Good – hmmm...

The Bad – jumped off of way too many roofs into pools and bayous

The Good – ehh...

The Bad – done a few too many things that have resulted in broken bones and/or stitches

The Good – ???

The Bad – pretty much every single decision I've made because I'm hard-headed and don't listen

The Good – *seriously scratching my head*

The Ba...you know what, that's enough of that.

      It's currently up-in-the-air as to which category my latest idea will be classified under. I've decided to take advantage of living in Asia and become a student of the martial arts. Sounds cool, right? My logic is that a true black-belt such as Master Kim (who trains one of the UFC's fighters, Dong Hyun Kim) doesn't offer to teach you Muay Thai and K-1 kickboxing everyday so you may as well take advantage of it. Also, nine year old Ryan who watched Bloodsport every chance he got would be thoroughly upset if he found out I didn't jump on this chance. So the plan is to take a break from exercising with weights and hopefully use this as a means to achieve my fitness goals. Maybe I'll be in incredible shape after a few grueling months of training. Maybe I am secretly super talented and I'll compete as a Western phenom.

      More likely my body will end up black and blue. I'll be completely embarrassed, battered, and broken. I'll probably get my head kicked clean off...but at least I can say I tried. Breaking down my comfort zone has clearly become the theme of my time here.

Take 1 - Lights...Camera...Action!

      I'd like to flashback to when Brandon and Quentin were here to visit me a few weeks ago if I may. We set out with the intention of creating a short indie film (for lack of a better description) as a form of video art to remember our adventures in South Korea. Editing and producing the footage depends on certain computer software which we do not yet have, but until then I thought I'd start sharing a clip or two with the world. I find myself watching the many videos that were taken when I need a laugh.

I'm Much Too Old to Act this Damn Young

      It's been a few days since my last update but I'll use the "I've been so busy at working towards my New Year's resolution" excuse. I have been at the gym constantly and successfully made changes to my diet. How are you doing with your resolutions? Anyone hoping to get into better shape? Well here's what I use for motivation. If these people are strong enough to achieve such wonderful change, then so are you! No excuses for 2013.

      I know what you're saying though..."Ryan! You're skinny and don't have to lose weight to get in shape and blah, blah, blah." I told you that I'm making big changes as well. I eat two or three salads a day. Let me say that again – I EAT TWO OR THREE SALADS A DAY! If you know me at all, your jaw is on the floor right now. So yes, I'm willing to tackle even the toughest of obstacles.

      As for lessons learned, I was at the gym a few nights ago doing a hellacious leg workout when one of the male trainers and his workout partner start their leg routine as well. There's a female trainer who always flirts with me and a Korean kid that I've befriended there too. Well the male trainer and his friend get on the leg press machine and rack it up with 120 kilos (264 lbs). They hit it a few times and decide it's time to step up the intensity. The female trainer sits on top the rack for added weight as each guy attempts a few squats. After the two guys, she looks at me and tells me to come over and try. Clearly, an hour into my workout, my legs are exhausted and using my common sense, I politely decline. Wait, no, that didn't happen. Fueled by testosterone and four Koreans staring at me, of course I take a seat ready to squat until my quads bleed. The female trainer says to try five reps so I obviously want to go for eight or nine. As my wobbly legs hit the ninth rep, she says to try for number ten which mean I now need to go for fifteen. The good news is I got it. The bad news is it's five days later and my legs still feel like jello.

      What is it about my brain that still thinks I'm 18 or 21? I'm only months away from 30 but I sure don't act like it. And none of this was really to impress the girl. I had to prove that I was more masculine than the three guys watching this old white guy. Basically I did it for America! It's times like that when I could use a girlfriend to slap some sense into me. I feel like that's one way to straighten me up. I know that having any of my guy friends there wouldn't have helped. Being cut from the same cloth, they'd have done it as well.

Our Final Outing

      As our time wound down, Brandon, Quentin, and I set out one more time before their departure.  We visited the Buddhist village that houses Samgwangsa Temple.  We were treated to the unexpected surprise of a fresh, nightly snowfall although we didn't get to actually experience it in the act.  The village is massive and boasts that it can house 10,000 monks.

 

     During Brandon and Quentin's stay in Korea, I had an absolutely wonderful time.  We probably could have stayed in my apartment and I would have loved it just as much.  I genuinely hope that they enjoyed these experiences as much as I did and know how much it meant to me that they literally traveled across the world to see me.  That speaks volumes as to what true friendship is.  I'd like to think that they know I'd do the same for them.  It's having people like this in my life that lets me know I'm truly blessed.

Photo-Randomness!

We found a Smoothie King at the world's largest mall in

honor of Mrs. Steph, Mr. Barry, Barret, Blake, and Bri.

Quentin picking out his lunch.

     And for more photographs of our South Korean odyssey (as well as his other travels), you should check out Brandon's website!

Haedong Yonggungsa - The Water Temple

      The one-of-a-kind Buddhist temple, Haedong Yonggungsa, is unique in the fact that it was built along the coastline instead of high in the mountains which was the more common practice.  Legend has it that while a monk was meditating on this site, the only female Buddha revealed herself to him while riding a sea dragon through the waves.  The temple was built on this very site to honor her.

      And since this is my first post of the new year, best wishes with your resolutions.  I'm on day two of my fitness quest.  Better than I was at 25?  Better than 20?  Why not be in the best shape of my life for my 30th year?!

An Open Letter to the New Year

Dear 2013,

      As we, humanity, approach your commencement, many will reflect on the previous year and how we've lived our lives. We'll make resolutions and are determined to live better as soon as you begin. This process seems to involve a sense of refocusing on things that are important to us so that when we come to your end, we'll look even more favorably on you than previous years. That's a lot of pressure and for that, I'm sorry. It's just that we feel you hovering out there in our consciousness, but know little about you. We're certainly aware that your debut is always in style, on the same night of the year, and that the other 364 nights serve as your denouement. After all is said and done on this night though, the majority are left unsatisfied and let down. And sadly enough, the rest of your days won't be any better for you. Get ready for the onslaught of resolutions and the heavy burden of blame when our diets, planned personality changes, and new found ambitions go south. That's not your fault though. We humans are clingy - we need life rafts, whether real or imagined – and if (when) we go down, we take you with us. The good news is that humanity has a short attention span - I'm sure most can't remember the promises of last year – so you'll receive forgiveness (unfortunately by eventually being forgotten).
      So rather than blaming you 2013, I hope that humanity tries taking our desires and ambitions seriously, whether our resolutions are as lofty as world peace or as humble as smiling more on a daily basis. As an unintended consequence of running away, I've been blessed enough to have a head start on finding the inspiration and emotional wherewithal to (hopefully) follow through on my hazy scheme for self-improvement. Here's to finding optimism, forgiveness, love, and resolve during your reign 2013.

Ryan