No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

      Let this be a cautionary tale about why you may not want to do something "fun" when these actions are based on your cultural appropriation of what "fun" is.

      To my surprise I discovered that a concert – which I had heard absolutely nothing about – was going to be held in a nearby town.  And not just a small, local show.  This was a single-night performance by four popular and well-known Thai bands: GetSunNova, Lomo Sonic, Big Ass, and Bodyslam (who have apparently played arena shows for audiences of +30,000).  As someone who's interested in music, new experiences, and photographic opportunities, my camera and I made the voyage to the Friday night event excited and equally perplexed by what could potentially lie ahead.  This twelfth annual Power Concert took place in the middle of nowhere, a wide open field akin to cow pasture acreage in Lockport, Louisiana, but drew a surprisingly large crowd.

      Let's fast-forward to the low point of the night.  As I stood in an utterly massive sea of 16 to 25 year old Thai kids I came to the realization that unlike any festival crowd in America; people weren't greedily attempting to squeeze, push, and fight for a better position.  Everyone was standing orderly as they viewed and listened to the bands on stage.  Other than the music itself, hands waving in the air were the only action that would signify that this was indeed a concert.  Sounds refreshingly nice, right?  Well it was...but I just couldn't leave well-enough alone.  The first thought that came to mind was "Why isn't anyone crowd-surfing?!  This is the perfect atmosphere and music for it!  Perhaps they don't even know that it exists."  And thus the quest to teach Thailand about crowd-surfing at a rock show was initiated!

      Armed with a Google Image Search of a guy crowd-surfing at a music festival on my phone, I began circling the outskirts of this human ocean to head towards the stage.  This picture (being worth a thousand words) would surely help me overcome any language barrier that I assumed I'd encounter.  As I approached the barricade in front of the stage, I was met by a group of girls who, in awe, acknowledged that I was the only farang they'd seen the entire night.  This seemed like the perfect opportunity to plant my brilliant plan's seed.  After what felt like an eternity of showing off the image on my phone and miming a person being passed along atop a crowd of other people, the only response that I could elicit was "mai chai, mai chai" (which means "no", or rather "negative yes" or "opposite yes").  I assumed that the girls just didn't understand and gave up on me.

      I should've accepted this as defeat, but noooo.  I turned away from the girls and was immediately met by some Thai guys, one of whom was fairly tall and stout.  I started my entire game of charades once again and this time, I had their attention.  I gestured to the tallest guy that I'd need to be lifted up and could then be passed along above everyone's head.  He replied by grabbing his much smaller friend's arm and laughing to emphasize that there was no way in hell he'd be able to hold me up.  Unfortunately he was correct.  I needed a few people to help lift me so that I could begin crowd-surfing and this young man just wasn't a suitable candidate.  "Fine" I thought, "we'll just convince this little guy to go first and I'll jump up once the crowd realizes what's going on."  After yet again showing the photos on my phone, I had finally and successfully conveyed the action of crowd-surfing and convinced him that it'd be a exciting experience.  Perfect!

      My hands clasped together and knee out so that my thigh could be used as a step, I was ready.  Finally, this was going to happen.  The larger Thai kid lifted his petite friend up who was now standing with one leg in my arms and the other in his friend's.  He towered over the crowd, seemingly miles above everyone else.  He wasn't falling back however, to lay out and be passed along by the other concert-goers.  Alas, I had failed to effectively communicate what the action of crowd-surfing truly was.  No matter.  As I turned to looked at the stage, the lead singer of Lomo Sonic was smiling and pointing directly at this young man.  He was now a superstar, the true envy of all Thai kids!  I smiled thinking to myself that I created an unforgettable moment for this complete stranger; one in which he was a king, even if for the night.

      Suddenly I was jolted back to reality by an incredibly strong jerking motion behind me.  In an instant, my first thought was that other kids behind me were clawing and climbing to pull themselves up as well.  I turned and was quickly met with a shock.  Soldiers from the Thai Army – there for security purposes – had fiercely snatched this kid right out of my arms and were violently beating the shit out of him.  In utter disbelief, I forced my way in to diffuse this powder keg screaming English (as if that meant anything) towards the soldiers.  It was over as rapidly as it started.  The soldiers marched away leaving this kid a limp pile lying in the grass.  As I helped him back to his feet he assured me that he was fine, all the while choking back tears.  I felt absolutely heart-broken.  I persistently offered to get him something to drink or eat or anything he wanted.  Partly because I wanted him to feel better, partly because I felt that I needed to make amends.  He refused, channeling his best strongman attitude and facade.

      It was clear that the mood was instantaneously demolished for everyone in the particular vicinity.  Feeling helpless and still quite shocked, I said my goodbyes and profusely apologized again before tucking my tail between my legs and retreating.  I've rarely experienced such a cold, hard, immediate buzzkill.

      Even now, after some time has passed, I still attempt to assign a moral to that event.  Cultural differences...perhaps what's good fun for the (American) goose isn't always good fun for the (Thai) gander.