Friday, March 11, 2016

Crystal Ball

      I wanted to believe that after the two weeks of final exams and final grades that my life would go back to being relatively simplistic as far as stress, duties, and obligations were concerned. Don't get me wrong, It's not lost on me the fact that things are far from actually being simple when life is simple. Ironic, but hear me out. I'll never again take for granted the little things in life as most of us Westerners do. Do you have internet? Air-conditioning? A constant supply of electricity? Hot water when you bathe? Oh, you mean you don't have to ladle water over your body out of a bucket? How far do you have to walk to fill up your jugs with clean drinking water? When's the last time you had toilet paper? Me?...October. See what I'm getting at? Despite these third world conditions (according to an American) or minor inconveniences (according to local Thais), life is simple in Sakon Nakhon. The sun rises, work is done, the sun sets, time is spent with your family, sleep, repeat.

Yep, the bathroom.
Motorized travel is a luxury if you can splurge.
My egg producers
Rats for dinner (foot left in the photo for scale).

I see this feral dog everyday.  How he is not dead is beyond me.
      The thing is, I didn't want to admit that life after the school term would probably end up being more difficult. Now I'm left with having to make the burdensome decision of what the future holds for me. I have the option to stay here in Sakon Nakhon or I can make a move to somewhere else in Thailand (I've been offered Chon Buri, Chacheongsao, and southern Bangkok) or the ever-present option of returning home. In an earlier draft of this post I wrote, "Sadly enough, returning home isn't an option which I'd prefer to devote a lot of attention towards." However recent thoughts have taken me on a roller coaster of emotions. I've spent the past few days feeling everything from 'I want to move home and never leave again.' to 'I could live in Bangkok forever! I love this city!' to 'Wow, I can apparently only operate in polar extremes. I wonder what moderation feels like to normal, well-balanced individuals?'.


      I believe that I'm still in the process of searching for meaning and purpose in life. So with that, doesn't it seem that I'm left with the decision to make a move to continue my journey elsewhere in Thailand or stay put to delve even deeper into life in this microscopic Thai village? Both opportunities offer positive possibilities as well as negative ones. For someone who is already indecisive as hell, too many options leaves the decision-making process nigh impossible.  Regardless of the conclusion though, my time in Sakon Nakhon has been eye-opening and enlightening beyond anything I could've imagined.  Very fitting for this Buddhist settlement.



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