The Quiet Things That No One Ever Sees

      Somewhere along the lines of my life, I lost myself. Well, not all of myself but bits and pieces. And this hasn't happened just once. Multiple pieces, multiple times.

      I used to be an artist. Now that I think about it, maybe I wasn't. Sure, I created artwork but that doesn't make an artist. Here me out...according to my artistic resume, I haven't shown any work since 2007. Even prior to, I may not have been an artist. Everything I'd worked on was in response to an assignment. An artist – no, a robot – possibly. And what happened when I had the chance to make work on my own? I stopped. Any possibility I had of proving myself became as absent as any recent year on my resume. Michael Crespo must be turning over in his grave in disappointment as his last words to me were "at least with you teaching art, you'll be able to continue creating it." I really messed up.

      So here's where I right the ass-backwards ship that I am (don't worry, there are other examples of my ass-backwardsness that I'll inform you of in future entries). While taking a lazy stroll through the arboretum near my apartment, I stumbled upon an art competition. Though it was only open to school children of varying grade levels, there were some impressive talents in the making. Watercolor was the medium of choice and I spent the afternoon watching in amazement.

      One of the most interesting aspects, to me, of being in the arts is the relationship between artist and sketchbook. This isn't just the cutting room floor for scraps, it's fertile delta soil where ideas germinate, blossom, then flourish. And it goes unseen, unknown. I get it - it's private, personal, raw, vulnerable – but oh so good. I love getting a glimpse at an artist's sketchbook, it gives one such insight as to what's going on at that time, in their life, in their mind. So with that, I'll reveal a few pages from my book. These haven't changed my mind, I still question who and where I am artistically – for they are only doodles. But this is the beginning of what I hope will turn into something. Hopefully more on this in the future, but be patient with me please.