To Eat Or Not To Eat

There are an infinite number of reasons to travel.  To relax in a stress-free atmosphere, to experience a different culture, to discover something new, to retrace history, or – my personal favorite – to experience unfamiliar and exciting cuisine.  My philosophy when traveling has been, and always will be, to eat any and everything that is not at your disposal back where you reside.  My apologizes, but I don't want to eat McDonald's in Paris, Subway sandwiches in Barcelona, or Chili's in Tokyo.  Nor do I want something basic and generic.  Don't offer me a hamburger or a slice of pizza.  Please entice me.  Or challenge me.  Or disgust me.  Either way, I'll be intrigued to try whatever it is that's been prepared.

The food scene in New Orleans seems to be thriving because of this very concept.  While steeped in traditional ingredients, there is a seemingly fresh desire to be creative.  To fuse new flavors or textures in an uncommon way.  It's even acceptable to cross over the boundaries which define genres.  I can see how one's palette could get spoiled in a gastronomic Mecca such as New Orleans.

Still, I'll continue to seek all that Bangkok has to offer.  There seemed no better place to start than the incredibly large farmer's market, Klong Toey.  If ever there were a place to experience all that the locals could propose, this would be it.

Able to walk amongst thousands of Thais, I witnessed farmers trucking in their recently harvested crops, fishermen hauling in the morning's catch, and merchants hacking, cleaning, preparing, and cooking the wildest of creations.  The market is so large that it feels like a town.  Row after row after row mimic the crowded streets of Bangkok; there are narrow lanes and endless human traffic.  And like Bangkok itself, this "town" isn't clean.  Picture a post-apocalyptic refuge camp.  The walkways are filthy and flooded with mud, water, feathers, scales, blood, and the occasional fish or octopus that's managed to escape from its bucket.  This entire compound exists beneath a canopy of rusty sheet metal and giant umbrellas which cast their colors upon the market and its vendors, patrons, and goods.  I understand the concept of why one would construct this quasi-roof but what they've unintentionally done is create a furnace.  With no moving air, the stifling heat and humidity incubate in this inferno.  It's unbearable.

But I went there for food, and food I would get.  Thailand's produce selection is phenomenal.  There is no end to the peak growing season in this tropical climate.  The pineapples...oh, the pineapples!  Here, they are skinned and sliced freshly upon being harvested; I can assure you that you haven't experienced a pineapple such as these.  The taste is truly unrivaled.  And the carrots are enormous!  You'd be hard-pressed to find one less than 12 inches and under a half pound.  The selections of leafy greens are vast as well.  Now granted, most of these are what Westerners would consider grasses – and the Thais pick them as such – but they're wildly popular in soups.  Produce wasn't why I was there however.  I made sure to seek out the oddest things to eat and did just that.  There were all types of fish, crustaceans, sea cucumbers, and mussels – both alive or freshly cleaned – available (which was impressive given that we're not really near the coast).  Numerous chickens and ducks caged next to the open flames that will eventually roast them would drive any animal rights activist to tears.  And – as if I were back home – there were frogs, turtles, hog's head and feet, chicken hearts and gizzards, and turkey necks.  The stars of this adventure however were the insects.  Crickets, worms, grubs, water beetles, and grasshoppers were all available... and raw.  For a moment, I imagined being in a old fishing bait shop.

Foreshadowing From Above

Before

After

I stared at a piece of styrofoam placed atop a mound of yellow grubs and attempted to read what was written on it.  There were two numbers and some Thai words.  Was this a certain amount of grubs for a particular price?  Unsure, I stood there awkwardly staring and pondering if I was about to spend 3.50 Baht for 20 grams of grubs or 20 Baht for 3.50 grams. Surely this couldn't be kilos, right?  During this moment of lengthy confusion, the woman selling the insects finally grabbed a black cricket and presented it to me.  I attempted to offer her some pocket change as compensation but she refused.  Our charades back and forth drew a crowd around her and me – the only farang at the entire market – to see whether or not I'd eat this raw cricket.  In one fell swoop, I munched it down.  Not bad, surprisingly so.  Neither were the brown crickets, nor the grasshoppers.  This insect buffet took a turn for the less-desirable with the consumption of the yellow grubs.  These squishy and oddly cold grubs burst their liquid-filled abdomen across my tongue with the first bite.  Chewing and swallowing became a much more labored task.  But I did it; I ate one of every bug in front of me.  And upon finishing, I was met with applause from the gathered crowd.

My mission for this outing was now accomplished, but there are still additional delicacies I'd like to sample.  Hopefully the scorpions, snakes, birds, and lizards will be next.